This post in honour of all the pairs of earrings and scarfs I bought that I didn’t want, just so I could pretend to shop with my friends… I was shopping at the weekend with a friend when we walked into a store I’ve been into many times before. Usually when this happens, unconsciously or not, I will peruse the shelves, as if they carry my size and then when my friend goes to the changing room and they ask if I found anything, I’ll respond with a “nope, nothing I liked it”. Or sometimes I’ll pick up some earrings or a scarf.
This time though, I responded differently “they don’t sell plus size in their store”.
“What? They must” she replied as she went to one of the shelves to look for my size
“No, it’s not that they don’t do plus size. They just don’t sell it in store”
“Well let’s go to Urban Outfitters”
“They actually don’t do plus size”
So she went to try on her clothes alone. And I turned the changing rooms into a photoshoot. Duh 💁🏻♀️ The reality is that most straight size people don’t understand the struggle it is to find clothes. We talk about it broadly, they might even know the statistics but until you are standing in a 5 floor shop in New York and realising that none of it is for you – that makes it real.
Part of becoming body positive and realising it is not my body that is the problem is answering this question honestly. I’m no longer pretending that I can’t find anything I like. Sorry if that makes the conversation awkward, but that’s my reality.
When we are trapped in your shame, you don’t want to admit it because somehow you still see it as your fault but no, it is not my fault that in 5 floors you couldn’t find space to stock clothes you already make, in store.
A couple months ago, I found a plus size floor in Macy’s in New York and I felt guilt around my straight size friend having no options and just having to wait around for me for an hour. I apologised for taking too long and she turned to me and said: “this is literally your experience of shopping on any other day”. Yes it is. #ScarredNotScared