Stalking ex friends and partners is one of my worst habits. Over the years I’ve got better but whenever I feel low or bad about myself I still do it.
The urge to stalk an ex on social media can be dismissed as curiosity or a desire to get back together but more and more, I’ve realised it’s more a sign that I’ve not been taking time for enough self care and prioritising my own self love.
In the last month, I’ve finally stopped and I’ve found a number of things help so here are my tips:
1) Once it’s over, delete their number, delete their messages and block them on social media. If you are guilty of stalking exes, you are also guilty of rereading old messages. STOP.
2) Realise it has nothing to do with the person. If you only have this urge when you feel low or down, it’s simply a tool to confirm your shitty feelings
3) If you want to do it when you feel good,
then it’s simply because you miss them. Missing someone is not a reason to bring them back into your life
4) It is self abuse. Think of it this way. Tell yourself this when you have the urge.
5) Use it as an opportunity to heal. Most people get this feeling when they feel unlovable or feel lonely. If you love yourself, you will never feel inloveable. If you love your own company, you will never feel lonely. This is an opportunity to expand your self love.
6) Just because you get the urge, doesn’t mean you have to follow through. Break that pattern.
Here’s proof that we all do it… when Instagram stories first came out, a number of people didn’t realise you could see who was watching your stories. On the first day, I was scrolling through all the people who had seen it and I saw over 5 guys who I dated prior to this account even being created, had watched it. They had gone OUT OF THEIR WAY to keep tabs on me after uni and were watching my stories.
It’s actually one of the reasons I used to not talk about my love life but now I don’t care 💁🏻♀️ guess it’s all that fire now! 🔥 Maybe one day I’ll tag them in one of these posts 😂 just kidding (maybe)