I’ve been thinking about friendship a lot lately. Each individual will have values when it comes to different areas of their life and we will have values in different orders and our decisions will be dictated by these values.
My highest value within friendship is loyalty. This for me means a number of things, but this includes:
– Not talking shit behind my back
– Talking to me (and not all our mutual friends) when you have a problem
– When someone talks shit about me behind my back, standing up for me. You don’t necessarily have to defend me but at the very least say something along the lines of “I’d prefer if you didn’t have this conversation with me”
– When we disagree, giving me the respect to disagree with my actions or beliefs, without demonising me as a person
Loyalty is important to me in all relationships but it’s not necessarily important to everyone. As a coach I’ve elicited a lot of people’s values and to some people, loyalty wouldn’t even feature in a list of top 10. That doesn’t necessarily mean that they aren’t loyal, just that it’s not important to them.
Last night I had a really nice evening with some gorgeous people and wonderful friends and I’m in a place where I can be confident in my friendships. I have great friends because I am a great friend. I attract good people because I’m a good person. Not everyone will agree with those statements, but I’m solid in the fact that the people who know me would agree. I know what I am and I know what I’m not. I’m not always perfect or the best version of me but I’m way too secure in myself to give someone who doesn’t know me the power of telling me who I am. It’s not going to work, because I know me better. Love and fire 🔥