There’s something I’ve wanted to talk to all about recently and I just didn’t know how.
I used to be one of the accounts that talked about body positive fitness. In fact, I’ve even been listed in articles about the best body positive accounts that talk about exercise. I got put on this fitspo pedestal that I never wanted or asked for.
So what happens when you just don’t want to anymore? It was the first time it had happened in 5 years and I didn’t understand it.
Then came the shame, the worry that I was going to lose all my fitness, the feeling of being a fraud, the feeling that I don’t practice what I preach, the pressure to force myself to and then eventually, coming to my senses and realising: NO ONE CARES.
You all know by now that I never talk about something unless I process it myself (I talk about my scars, not my wounds). Well now that it’s healed, let’s talk about it.
First of all, the shame and feeling like a fraud. I do not live my life for my instagram. What I say on my page is true in the moment, and I am entitled to change my mind.
Second of all, I took so many months off I stopped counting. I’ve done bits and bobs but it’s not been since the summer that I’ve hit my 4x a week routine. I have lost all of my fitness but you know what, it can come back. My fitness is not a stagnant thing.
Third of all, I’ve fallen back in love with exercise and it didn’t come from forcing myself. It came from chilling out, taking it easy and trying new things. Sometimes it was taking it easier: walking instead of running. And sometimes it was changing environments: dancing at home using YouTube videos instead of dance class.
A part of body positive exercise that is rarely discussed is to remove any attachment you have to exercise especially in terms of your identity. Stopping for a few months gave me that so never feel guilty about doing best for you, even if it goes against society’s convention of health.
This is me yesterday on a 2 hour walk that somehow ended in the gym. And I loved it. You’ll get back there. And if you don’t, who cares? #ScarredNotScared