When Body Shaming is Subtle

June 8, 2017

I’ve been thinking lately about those subtle comments people make. Not the dramatic body shaming that is out-right unacceptable but the subtle digs that we seem to allow because that area of vagueness allows you to fool yourself into thinking that they “don’t mean it that way” or that you are “overthinking it” or that they “mean well”. It’s usually done in a passive aggressive way. They usually come in the form of side jokes that chip away at confidence. Jokes which you are meant to laugh at otherwise you are being “too sensitive”. You let them slide but before you know it, it’s affected your level of body positivity and you second guess how you look and what you do more than you ever did before. It’s understandable because consciously or unconsciously, that shit seeps in!

I once dated a guy who used to only like my Facebook pictures if I looked ugly in them and he would comment on them in a really sarcastic way to draw everyone’s attention to it. I would jokingly agree how awful I looked and we would laugh together about it. What I was too young to realise is that emphasising my insecurity should have never been a bonding moment. What I should’ve realised is that when you are around people you love they don’t push down hard on your bruises, but instead will hold you tight to make sure you never get hurt again.

If people are taking subtle jabs at you, say something. Please. If you don’t feel strong enough to say something, then walk away. Keep walking until that person is no longer in your life because I promise you, those kind of jokes leave marks on your confidence, self esteem and body positivity.

It might not be abusive, but it is manipulative and you deserve better than that. You deserve better than a person who you wants to catch a few laughs in a room at the expense of your mental health. You deserve better than a person who wants to seem cooler than you by degrading you publicly.

Your body positivity will never be fully complete until the people in your life change either by getting in line or getting out. It’s their choice which they do, but it’s your choice to set that boundary.

So much love beautiful ones, stay strong and have a wonderful day ☀️