How To Love Your Scar

February 12, 2017

I’m going to be honest with you. I was replying to a message from someone who had been following me for a year and I mentioned my campaign, Scarred Not Scared and they replied saying they had never heard of it.

I was shocked.
I think I’ve been doing it a disservice.

Scarred Not Scared is my passion project, my life blood and ultimately how I found my roots in body positivity.

Scarred Not Scared started with me simply sharing the story of my 15 surgeries and developed into sharing all scar stories. That is why I created that video in March because each scar is different and each scar has a different story.

It is the most important thing I have ever done and because it got over 50k views, I always assume you guys are bored of me talking about it but then I get a message like that and I realise I haven’t spoken about it enough. I need to speak about it because scars is still something that goes largely undiscussed. So I finally made this video addressing the questions every person with a scar has. I’ve been putting off making it because I felt I didn’t know all the answers, I don’t have the perfect solution and I was worried I was going to get emotional. It was a hard video to make because it still IS a hard conversation. I start crying in the video and I said something I’ve never said before “I never want to become numb to my scars or the stories behind them” and that’s ultimately what I feel.

My body catches people’s attention and most the time, not in a good way. My body can’t just be a body, because it’s different. My body can’t just be a vehicle because it is connected to my story, my history, my past. It has to ALWAYS be the subject of a conversation whether it was in the bedroom or on the beach and THAT, my friends, is what I hated most about my body.

I teared up filming the video, I teared up writing the last post and I am tearing up writing this one because it is STILL hard. 22 years after my first scar, it still feels lonely and in these moments it’s hard not to feel like I’m the only person with problems like this.

The only person who has to question which date to tell a guy about their scars. Is the first date too soon? Maybe the third date? It’s times like these I question if I’m the only person who had to explain to a small child that you weren’t a monster or Frankenstein when they saw your scars.

It’s times like these I remind myself of Scarred Not Scared because I’m not alone and building this campaign has meant finding these people who can share these stories and struggles with me. You are never alone.

My scars may not be attractive but they are beautiful. Attractive is superficial, beauty is deep. Attractive is about other people, beauty is about yourself. I know a lot of you follow me for these conversations and I’m sorry if you feel like I don’t talk about this enough. I hope this video does you justice. #scarrednotscared