“You’re scared that you’ll lose all the weight and that nothing will have changed, right? That you’ll discover that the person you have been is the person who you are truly are. And all your dreams of the life you’re gonna lead one day are nothing but lies you’ve told yourself. I get it. It’s scary, and if I were you, I’d be terrified.” – Olivia
I love @nbcthisisus and this line was in this week’s episode and it shook me to the core.
Everytime I tried to lose weight when I was younger, I hit this point. The last time I went on a diet was 4 years ago – slimming world and the weight didn’t stay off because I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I had just come out of hospital, my life was falling apart and I thought losing weight would give me some control (and bring a boy back that ditched me when I was hospitalised). The freak out point was around the 12 lb mark when people start to notice and you realise that nothing is actually that different. Ok your pants are bit looser and you have more selection in stores but … Losing weight didn’t grant you this magical life that you were promised.
That’s how they sell diets.
They promise you your ultimate dream life.
And then it doesn’t happen.
So let’s squash a few myths.
You can’t find love or a relationship until you lose the weight.
WRONG. I was in a relationship when I was 30 lbs heavier than I am now.
All your fears disappear and life becomes easier.
WRONG. All your fears still exist and you are the same personality with the same weaknesses.
You will love your body in a new revolutionary way.
WRONG. All your insecurities will be enhanced because losing weight will mean you get more attention. That attention will freak out a person with no confidence.
You will be fitter.
WRONG. Over the last 5 years I have fluctuated between 30 lbs heavier than I am now and 20 lbs lighter than I am now. My gym routine has been unwavering though, regardless of my size I have gone to the gym 3/4 times a week.
You will be healthier.
WRONG. I went into hospital at my thinnest I have ever been as an adult 3 years ago. I also went into hospital a few months ago 20 lbs heavier for the EXACT SAME PROBLEM.
Lose weight if you want to, just don’t believe it will be a miracle cure for the problems you have right now. People like to lose weight, dissociate from their previous self and abandon their fat version of themselves, but your self love can’t be conditional. Nothing will change in your life until you actually change it. Stop waiting on the weight!